


TMI

by StarsAreMassive



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Friendship, Gallavich, Gen, Humour, M/M, Sex Life, grossing out your siblings, lots of explicit talk about sex, prompt, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 05:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21452848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAreMassive/pseuds/StarsAreMassive
Summary: Mandy likes to talk about Lip's prowess in bed. Ian's sick of it, and decides to get even.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mandy Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich & Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 11
Kudos: 334





	TMI

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt I received on tumblr:
> 
> hi i was thinking of a fun prompt and i came up with this: set in s5 or maybe an au of some kind where ian - who's living at the milkovich house - realizes how much fun it is to gross mandy out with details of his and mickey's sex life and then maybe mickey comes home and joins in the fun :D

Really, he knew what he signed up for.

Since the very first day Mandy Milkovich claimed him as her gay best friend, and loudly complained about guys who just wanted to fingerbang, Mandy had spared him no detail about her active and colourful sex life.

Ian was no prude. He could talk about sex no problem. But when Mandy decided to wax lyrical about his brother’s dick – yeah. That shit got real fuckin’ old.

And as much as he couldn’t take his eyes off their car wreck of a relationship - they all knew it was just a matter of time before they broke up _again_ \- he could have lived his whole life without hearing, “_I swear Ian, every time I’m mad at him he does this tilting thing with his hips when we’re banging and fuck if I can remember why he’s such a shithead for a few hours after.”_

And that was the last time Ian shared sex tips with his brother, thank you kindly.

So, Ian had a dilemma. On one hand, he had Best Friend Duties to fulfil, and after what Mandy had been through with Kenyatta, Ian was taking that shit more seriously than ever. On the other, this had to stop and he had no idea how to do it.

For weeks he toed the line of vomiting in his mouth and fleeing whenever Mandy got that look in her eye which signalled another soliloquy about sex with Lip, until a solution finally came. Literally.

Thing was, Mickey was _loud_. Even the first time they hooked up together, Mickey had bit his lips and eaten a mouthful of pillow to shut himself the fuck up. But with Terry back in the can, and the cat pretty much outta the bag in the Milkovich household (_“You got a smokin’ hot wife and you never fuckin’ bang. Ya seriously don’t think we know you’re a fag?” “Fuck off, Iggy.” _), Mickey was unstoppable.

Harsh, hot breaths punched out from his chest every time Ian rocked into him. When Ian pressed just right against that button deep inside, Mickey sobbed and praised, “_Yeah, yes, yes, yes_”. Hands gripping his hips hard had Mickey spitting curses, and when Ian couldn’t help himself, when he was _so_ close and needed Mickey to go first, grabbing him upright, pressing chest to back with one hand pressed against Mickey’s throat as they fuckin’ raced to the finish – then, Mickey’s moans echoed in the room as he pleaded, _“Ian!”_.

One night, after they collapsed onto the bed, it took them a few seconds until they heard the banging and Mandy’s screaming through the wall.

“Shut the _fuck_ up, assholes! Some of us gotta sleep and I don’t need to hear my douchebag brother having a fucking O every goddam night!”

And as Mickey chuckled and went to sleep, Ian had his lightbulb moment. Mandy wanted to talk to him about banging his brother? Well, though he loved the bitch, she didn’t know what was comin’.

* * *

Mandy passed him the joint. He couldn’t smoke much on his meds, but he was South Side. He was never going to stick to the straight and narrow even if he wanted to. That shit stuck. Ian was thoroughly inspecting the ass of some action star in the movie they were kinda not watching, weighing its merits against Mickey’s, and Mandy’s phone was pinging after each _clackclack_ as she texted whoever was on the other end.

Judging by that filthy fucking Milkovich smirk that swept across her face, Ian knew exactly who it was and braced himself.

“Lip?” he asked as he passed back the joint.

“Mm. Better be grateful I’ve ditched your brother for you.”

“I ain’t keeping you here. By all means, run off, chase dick, follow your dreams. _Ah! _Fuck sake Mandy!”

She kicked his leg, and even when they were playin’, Milkoviches didn’t fuck around. “That’s what you get,” she laughed. “Don’t hate just because you’re not the only Gallagher who can fuck.”

“Aw Mandy don’t start with this shit again. Please.”

“Lip might not be nine inches, but he knows how to use it, Ian.”

“Oh my god.”

“Not just his dick either. His tongue is just –“

“This is not fucking happening.”

“There’s not a lot of room in that spot under the stairs, but he’s surprisingly bendy –“

Alright. Game time. Ian forced a laugh and nodded along. “Yeah I totally know what you mean, Mands.”

Mandy narrowed her eyes at him. “What, does he do pilates when I’m not there or somethin’?”

“Not Lip, fuck – Mickey.” He watched the horror descend into Mandy’s eyes. “Once he got into fuckin’ face to face, we did this thing where I put his legs on my shoulders and bent him in half –“

He’d fully expected the slap Mandy threw at him, and managed to dodge it so she just clipped his ear.

“Fuckin’ gross Ian, come on!”

“You brought it up, skank!”

Mandy shoved him. “Oh, yeah? Well how about I tell you about the time Lip went down on me in the shower. You don’t use that loofah, do you?”

Ian dry heaved and pinched her thigh. “Bitch,” he hissed as she shrieked. “Better not tell you how much Mickey likes getting a rim job.”

With a wail, Mandy was on him. Her fists thumped against his ribs, his chest, and the arms he threw up to protect his face. She grabbed at a patch of hair and tagged _hard_. “Fuck you, Gallagher!”

Ian got his arms around her waist and threw Mandy over his shoulder. But a Milkovich was never deterred and she started hammering on his back.

And this was the sight which greeted Mickey as he walked in the door. Mandy crawling halfway down Ian’s back, her legs in the air by his stupid ginger head, as his boyfriend laughed and tickled her and even slapped her ass.

He threw the car keys on the table and heaved a sigh. “What the fuck?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, Ian and Mandy stilled and turned to see Mickey standing there, judging them.

Ian beamed, “Hey, Mick.”

Mandy did not. He hadn’t even spoken to the bitch today and she scowled at Mick something fierce. She wriggled out of Ian’s hold and sneered at him. “Fuck off, asshole.”

Mickey flipped her off as Ian jogged over to him and kissed him on the cheek. “The fuck did I do?”

Mandy rolled her eyes and flopped back on the couch. “Started liking dick.”

Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist from behind and murmured low in his ear. “Finally found a way to make her shut up about my brother’s junk.”

He felt Mickey shiver. “You ever mention your brother’s junk to me again and you can pack your shit and leave.”

Ian laughed and nipped Mickey’s jaw. “Turns out she can give it but can’t take it back. Soon as I started talkin’ about our sex life, she flipped her shit.”

“No shit,” Mickey grinned. “Us banging is my bitch sister’s kryptonite?”

“Mhmm.”

Mickey pushed him off and leered at him over his shoulder. “Watch this.”

He strolled up to his sister, pulled out his phone and started looking for something. “Yo, Gallagher!” He shouted, and Mandy jumped, not hearing him creep up behind her.

Ian hung back, curious where Mickey was going with this. “What is it Mick?”

“I found that site you were talkin’ about the other day.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You’ve been workin’ out right? Thought we could try the Suspended Congress.”

_Oh._ Ian wasn’t sure if he was choking back laughter or whimpers. He knew exactly what site Mickey was talking about. He’d sent it to him a week ago and just assumed he’d been given the brush off. Apparently not.

Mandy piped up from her spot on the sofa. “The fuck is that?”

“S’where Ian picks me up and pushes me hard into a wall – you know, knees up, ass down – so he can dri-“

“MOTHERFUCKERS!” Mandy screeched and threw a punch at Mickey he was too busy laughing to avoid. His jaw snapped to the right, but he’d learned to take a punch from his sister when they were kids and he just kept on laughing. He could hear Ian giggling behind him.

“You’re fuckin’ sick – both of you. Jesus fuckin’ Christ – I’m moving out. I can’t take any more of this shit.” Mandy’s cursing and vitriol followed her to her room until she slammed the door hard enough to make the mirrors on the walls shake.

Mickey swaggered back over to Ian, eyes bright and grin wide. “You’re a mean motherfucker, Gallagher.”

“Me?” He feigned offence. “I’m not the one who started talking about gay sex positions.”

Mickey was in front of him now; he stepped right up, his breath tickling Ian’s neck. “Mm. Guess not.”

“S-Suspended congress, huh?”

Mickey waggled his eyebrows and leaned back. “Up to it, Army?”

Ian didn’t dignify that with an answer. Instead, he manhandled Mickey into their bedroom and got lost in him until they couldn’t hear Mandy banging on the walls again or the front door slam closed.


End file.
